About Capt_Colorz : With a life like mine, you'd figure I'd be number one contributor.
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Capt_Colorz's favorite FMLs
by LeChameauTrisomique / 03/14/2014 at 12:33am / France (Centre) / Work
Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML
by cockfist / 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML
by owmyhead / 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm / Miscellaneous
by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
by gangstalicious / 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my two moms were telling some fairly obscene jokes about their sex life. When I told them to… Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said… Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get…