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CaptMurdock

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CaptMurdock

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 July 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4382
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About CaptMurdock : Hi there.

CaptMurdock's page activity

Visits<b>HealthKitt</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:04am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:18pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:59pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Perfectly_Killer</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:09pm<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 12:59pm<b>nixienicotine</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:44am<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:09pm<b>dmert5</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:55am<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:38am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:56pm<b>kingteefteef</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:33am<b>kakashi519</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:25am<b>eclipsebladex</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:49pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:18pm

CaptMurdock's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of CaptMurdock's badges

CaptMurdock's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86698) - you deserved it (8949)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

#20556028
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42349) - you deserved it (2929)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (2722)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (8438)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (8868) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17860) - you deserved it (62300) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50814) - you deserved it (3229)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (3117)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (17856)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27937) - you deserved it (4706)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34556) - you deserved it (2949)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (3960)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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