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CaptMurdock

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CaptMurdock

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2151
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About CaptMurdock : Hi there.

CaptMurdock's page activity

Visits<b>dmert5</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:55am<b>Morticia_Addams</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:38am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:56pm<b>kingteefteef</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 2:33am<b>kakashi519</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:25am<b>eclipsebladex</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:47am<b>Xenon_Smith</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:05pm<b>KHAOS_KREATOR</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:27am<b>cheeriolove</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:33am<b>mlwalker88</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:20pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 11:08am<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:38pm<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 4:32am

CaptMurdock's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of CaptMurdock's badges

CaptMurdock's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

#20640612
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47743) - you deserved it (4137)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53530) - you deserved it (7513)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45282) - you deserved it (13419)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44979) - you deserved it (6212)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41626) - you deserved it (3517)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79680) - you deserved it (4092)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50301) - you deserved it (8157)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (13938)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (44289)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (5714)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44904) - you deserved it (4923)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (31392)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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