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CaptFappingtons

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CaptFappingtons

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 941
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CaptFappingtons : I enjoy hunting, fishing, archery, and fencing. Pretty odd interests, huh?

CaptFappingtons's page activity

Visits<b>PROEMG</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:52am<b>SplitEnds</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:32am<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Eid7</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:44am<b>Jessica0928</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 3:08am<b>aa1717</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 10:14pm<b>1lesslonelygurl</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:06pm<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:57pm<b>shamonia</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:17pm<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 3:18pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:38am<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 9:01pm<b>bigtacoz</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:57pm<b>FrozenMusic</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:25am<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:43am<b>Emiler98</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 7:02am<b>belka_lolz</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 10:16pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:15pm

CaptFappingtons's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of CaptFappingtons's badges

CaptFappingtons's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

#21218640
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19615) - you deserved it (1710)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm - kids - by TCRII - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27445) - you deserved it (9285)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (8379)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15161) - you deserved it (36886)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (34599)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (5394)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (5891)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44692) - you deserved it (5658)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48484) - you deserved it (4116)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47325) - you deserved it (3296)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43996) - you deserved it (7047)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (2974)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47924) - you deserved it (4112)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46198) - you deserved it (4458)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40569) - you deserved it (22951)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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