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Offline (the 01/21/2016 at 6:38pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 December 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 731
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Capitan : 21 😎
Mexico 🇲🇽
Soccer (Futbol) ⚽️
Football 🏈
Funny 😄
Scary movies 💀

Capitan's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:47pm<b>yvngfuckup</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 5:11am<b>lat1404</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>haymac</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 11:51am<b>Leftwise</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 3:26am<b>SQUABAHOL1C</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:21am<b>_ExcitedPotato_</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:11am<b>ColdAndFuzzy</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:52am<b>R3G3N</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:41am<b>kawayi</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:47pm<b>sariberii</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 2:54am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:45pm<b>3051628</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:52pm<b>1Hundreds</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 5:13am<b>Tony_BigBologna</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:46am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:38pm<b>losesitall</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:19pm

Fucked!<b>futureot1</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:02am<b>cristinewest</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 5:49pm

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Capitan's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother got his very first paycheck and blew it all on weed and a godawful tattoo, whereas I have been saving steadily for three years. Yet according to mum and dad, I'm the one who is irresponsible with money, because if I was being responsible I'd have enough for my own house by now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23636) - you deserved it (1502)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (2444)

On 09/15/2015 at 5:48pm - health - by brokenface (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (3763)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22580) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (1585)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML


I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (4643)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of hardcore training, free of injuries, I pinched a nerve in my neck while putting on a swimsuit to lie in the sun doing nothing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25480) - you deserved it (2187)

On 07/17/2015 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

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