About CanyonRose : Horror is life.
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CanyonRose's favorite FMLs
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
by Elrond Hubbard / 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by exuberant_orange / 01/08/2015 at 10:56am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML
by danielzcwu / 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
by ohwell / 11/24/2014 at 8:44am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML
by drop dead single / 11/22/2014 at 8:44am / United States / Love
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2014 at 12:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML
by TinyBouvier / 10/27/2014 at 4:04am / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Transportation
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by AGB10 / 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work
by Badatlife / 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…