CantusVulpis

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CantusVulpis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6057
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About CantusVulpis : My name is Bay, I read FML when I am bored, tired, or in an awkward situation. I think it would be fun to be on the FML team. :)
I'm big fan of Doctor Who, Legend of Zelda, Skyrim, Adventure Time, and BBC Sherlock.
Find me on Tumblr!
cantusvulpis.tumblr.com

CantusVulpis's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 10:26am<b>beastiness</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:53pm<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 5:57am<b>rjc490</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 11:57am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:15pm<b>WordBea</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 10:55pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:04am<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:45am<b>Zachpro</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:14am<b>weekendhero</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Jaager</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:35pm<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:28am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:39am<b>uflorida21</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:37am

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CantusVulpis's favorite FMLs

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 3:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

by asdfghjkl / 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

by poomaster / 11/21/2010 at 9:33pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

by johnboy / 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

by snoozlagist / 10/30/2010 at 12:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

by altocrm / 10/24/2010 at 12:11am / Love

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

by lifesuck / 09/19/2010 at 10:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

by wakinginvegas87 / 09/05/2010 at 11:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

by roflcopter / 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

by ick / 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

by ghostyyy / 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm / Love