CantusVulpis

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CantusVulpis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5368
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About CantusVulpis : My name is Bay, I read FML when I am bored, tired, or in an awkward situation. I think it would be fun to be on the FML team. :)
I'm big fan of Doctor Who, Legend of Zelda, Skyrim, Adventure Time, and BBC Sherlock.
Find me on Tumblr!
cantusvulpis.tumblr.com

CantusVulpis's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:53pm<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 5:57am<b>rjc490</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 11:57am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 9:15pm<b>WordBea</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 10:55pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:04am<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 11:45am<b>Zachpro</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:14am<b>weekendhero</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Jaager</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:35pm<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:28am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:39am<b>uflorida21</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:37am<b>sma30135</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:38am<b>Laconic01</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 6:04pm

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CantusVulpis's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

by Amathiel / 12/29/2012 at 10:23am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

by orilykid / 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

by cupnoodles / 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

by leaftheerickson / 10/21/2012 at 6:31am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

by ThreeTimesUnlucky / 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids