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Cansler

Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 2:28pm) | Search for a member

Cansler

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Cansler
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3370
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cansler's page activity

Visits<b>Expired_Skittles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:26pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:10pm

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Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (7109)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (1991)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

#20065697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (6416)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (1515)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

#20054049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (2753)

On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

#20053819
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18054) - you deserved it (4390)

On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26447) - you deserved it (5142)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

#20047681
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21362) - you deserved it (1369)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States

Today, I had a piano exam. My friend noticed how nervous I was, and recommended that I compliment the examiner for higher marks. When it was time for the exam, without thinking, I told him I liked his hair. Turns out bald people don't like that. FML

#20046479
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6515) - you deserved it (22785)

On 08/28/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by p (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (5733)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML

#20044273
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20387) - you deserved it (4993)

On 08/27/2012 at 9:33am - work - by Joe - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (3759)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29508) - you deserved it (1726)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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