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Cansler

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Cansler

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Cansler
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4824
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cansler's page activity

Visits<b>Expired_Skittles</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:26pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:10pm

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Cansler's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49310) - you deserved it (2109)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (2095)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29134) - you deserved it (5866)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7586) - you deserved it (28647)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (11628)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

#20078083
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30330) - you deserved it (1852)

On 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm - misc - by he is going to hell (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46882) - you deserved it (6697)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32220) - you deserved it (7673)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (7499)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (1998)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17423) - you deserved it (3425)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

#20065697
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (6763)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (1640)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

#20054049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)



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