Candicane241

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Offline (the 06/13/2016 at 7:55pm)

Candicane241

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1210
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Candicane241 : Oh hello there :D

Candicane241's page activity

Visits<b>QUACKATTACK27</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:31am<b>JensenAckles</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:29pm<b>the_zero_article</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:48pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Sanyare_101</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:08pm<b>ThatGuyWithFMLs</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 2:29pm<b>catella</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:48pm<b>naxeeb</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 9:45am<b>grievousgirl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 2:36pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 2:55am<b>MeowcolasCage</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:57am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:05am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:43am<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:42pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:07pm

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Candicane241's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

by Red / 12/04/2014 at 11:31am / Love

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

by smh / 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

by caaarl / 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

by facepalm / 02/27/2012 at 6:06am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

by crazytown62 / 02/14/2012 at 10:32am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

by Pimpleeater / 12/20/2011 at 2:45am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

by nicoreal89 / 11/25/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

by failure / 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

by WoWWidow / 09/02/2011 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids