Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CanadiansPlease

Search for a member

CanadiansPlease

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2427
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About CanadiansPlease : Will is currently on a forever trip in England. Has no wi-fi. This is her cousin because she forgot to sign off. Meow.

I have learned

That the secret to happiness

Is as simple

As realizing that the world is beautiful

And although flawed

Is awe-inspiring all the same.

Fall in love with the world

And your heart will never be the same.

Instead of bursting out with sadness

Joy hydrates your body and soul

Until you cannot differentiate your body

From the celestial one that is beneath your feet.

CanadiansPlease's page activity

Visits<b>Agnesia</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Han1156</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:33pm<b>citytown</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 5:43pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:20pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:29am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 9:12am<b>jessibellasmiles</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 7:08pm<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:46pm<b>Komaeda</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:37pm<b>Vodyn</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:19am<b>skittycat213</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:00pm<b>TheGingerLady</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:03pm<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:32am<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:32pm<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:26pm<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:08pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:52pm

CanadiansPlease's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of CanadiansPlease's badges

CanadiansPlease's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

#21064600
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (5191)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21772) - you deserved it (38515)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50902) - you deserved it (5061)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46241) - you deserved it (6544)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (7022)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49850) - you deserved it (3928)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43246) - you deserved it (3243)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

#21057961
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (34086) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/12/2014 at 4:47am - work - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36997) - you deserved it (4377)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (8034)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

#21055497
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (4813)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40283) - you deserved it (4966)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34101) - you deserved it (6079)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52698) - you deserved it (6890)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: