About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.
Calyx's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Calyx's favorite FMLs
by sharpie2792 / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
by Random / 01/31/2012 at 9:41am / United States / Love
by givingup / 01/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
by Rachal / 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by dragonmirado / 01/25/2012 at 1:23am / China / Miscellaneous
by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy
by 2gewd4u / 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…