About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.
Calyx's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Calyx's favorite FMLs
by sharpie2792 / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy
by Random / 01/31/2012 at 9:41am / United States / Love
by givingup / 01/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
by Rachal / 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by dragonmirado / 01/25/2012 at 1:23am / China / Miscellaneous
by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy
by 2gewd4u / 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids
- Today, at grad practice we were walking down the isle to our seats. As I turned into my row my foot… Today,my husband decided he needs to be a truck driver. That means our 7 weeks of marriage will be… Today, while getting intimate with me boyfriend, he was sucking and biting on my inner thighs when…