Calyx

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Calyx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20649
  • Number of comments : 2185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.

Calyx's page activity

Visits<b>Mearemoi</b> - the 08/10/2012 at 2:48pm<b>Someone648</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 4:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Sliver1991</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 2:52pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 12:52pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 4:52am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 8:41pm<b>themarshal</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 1:12pm<b>hothotheat_</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 9:22pm<b>W45T3D_Y0UTH</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 8:44pm<b>dogpup4</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:28pm<b>Philintheblankz</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:15pm<b>amandalillian</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 7:23am<b>DKjazz</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 12:04am<b>keshaforever1</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 4:49pm<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 6:39am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/04/2012 at 11:33pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 7:21am

Calyx's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Calyx's badges

Calyx's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 8:51am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

by beernuts / 03/06/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Work

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

by Lonely Gay / 02/22/2012 at 4:37am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work