Calyx

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Calyx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 20444
  • Number of comments : 2185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.

Calyx's page activity

Visits<b>Mearemoi</b> - the 08/10/2012 at 2:48pm<b>Someone648</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 4:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Sliver1991</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 2:52pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 12:52pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 4:52am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 8:41pm<b>themarshal</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 1:12pm<b>hothotheat_</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 9:22pm<b>W45T3D_Y0UTH</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 8:44pm<b>dogpup4</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:28pm<b>Philintheblankz</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:15pm<b>amandalillian</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 7:23am<b>DKjazz</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 12:04am<b>keshaforever1</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 4:49pm<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 6:39am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/04/2012 at 11:33pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 7:21am

Calyx's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Calyx's badges

Calyx's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML

by Anne / 04/29/2012 at 2:41am / United States / Health

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

by KC / 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

by nofrickenway / 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

by metalwolf / 04/20/2012 at 4:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love