About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.
Calyx's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Calyx's favorite FMLs
by gaga / 05/22/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML
by bronco_lover89 / 05/21/2012 at 9:05pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
by me / 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Karmaisabitch / 05/18/2012 at 2:07am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
by mel / 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Work
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I got off the bus, I saw a girl counting her change making sure she had enough for the ride. Since it was my last stop for the day, I offered my day pass to her. She replied, "Get away, freak." FML
by calidreaming / 05/09/2012 at 10:40am / Japan (Osaka) / Miscellaneous