Calyx

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Calyx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 22028
  • Number of comments : 2185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.

Calyx's page activity

Visits<b>Mearemoi</b> - the 08/10/2012 at 2:48pm<b>Someone648</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 4:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Sliver1991</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 2:52pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 12:52pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 4:52am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 8:41pm<b>themarshal</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 1:12pm<b>hothotheat_</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 9:22pm<b>W45T3D_Y0UTH</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 8:44pm<b>dogpup4</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:28pm<b>Philintheblankz</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:15pm<b>amandalillian</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 7:23am<b>DKjazz</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 12:04am<b>keshaforever1</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 4:49pm<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 6:39am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/04/2012 at 11:33pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 7:21am

Calyx's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Calyx's badges

Calyx's favorite FMLs

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

by Steve / 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

by bad date / 06/13/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Nebraska) / Money

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

by fledermausi / 06/12/2012 at 9:02am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

by UnluckyGroom / 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

by unamyous / 06/08/2012 at 9:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

by dating a manchild / 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love