Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Calyx

Search for a member

Calyx

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15905
  • Number of comments : 2185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.

Calyx's page activity

Visits<b>Mearemoi</b> - the 08/10/2012 at 2:48pm<b>Someone648</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 4:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Sliver1991</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 2:52pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 12:52pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 4:52am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 8:41pm<b>themarshal</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 1:12pm<b>hothotheat_</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 9:22pm<b>W45T3D_Y0UTH</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 8:44pm<b>dogpup4</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:28pm<b>Philintheblankz</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:15pm<b>amandalillian</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 7:23am<b>DKjazz</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 12:04am<b>keshaforever1</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 4:49pm<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 6:39am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/04/2012 at 11:33pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 7:21am

Calyx's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Calyx's badges

Calyx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33450) - you deserved it (10069)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51674) - you deserved it (2386)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8970) - you deserved it (26263) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35381) - you deserved it (3049)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28054) - you deserved it (4262)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

#19818788
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (2928)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (15213)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44283) - you deserved it (4072)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

#19799691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (10972)

On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44726) - you deserved it (2130)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (6671)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37437) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (15668)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49952) - you deserved it (3375)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: