About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.
Calyx's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Calyx's favorite FMLs
by Closingwild / 07/21/2012 at 2:18am / Mexico (Jalisco) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
by tapeissticky591 / 07/14/2012 at 1:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/11/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Texas) / Work
by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML
by a4rk / 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm / Malaysia (Sarawak) / Work
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
by Aaron Lewis / 07/07/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 9:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…