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Calyx

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Calyx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11014
  • Number of comments : 2185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Calyx : There is only one soul. You.

Calyx's page activity

Visits<b>Mearemoi</b> - the 08/10/2012 at 2:48pm<b>Someone648</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 4:30pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/06/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Sliver1991</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 2:52pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 12:52pm<b>Factor</b> - the 07/27/2012 at 4:52am<b>Epikouros</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 8:41pm<b>themarshal</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 1:12pm<b>hothotheat_</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 9:22pm<b>W45T3D_Y0UTH</b> - the 07/16/2012 at 8:44pm<b>dogpup4</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:28pm<b>Philintheblankz</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 4:15pm<b>amandalillian</b> - the 07/15/2012 at 7:23am<b>DKjazz</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 12:04am<b>keshaforever1</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 4:49pm<b>s0ulslack</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 6:39am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/04/2012 at 11:33pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 07/03/2012 at 7:21am

Calyx's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Calyx's badges

Calyx's favorite FMLs

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

#20031656
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (6848)

On 08/20/2012 at 9:25am - misc - by Maria (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

#20029320
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
508 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11431) - you deserved it (151915)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

#20024282
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (5997)

On 08/16/2012 at 10:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (4870)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

#20017935
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16309) - you deserved it (15349)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by brooke - United States

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45764) - you deserved it (2993)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33363) - you deserved it (2061)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (4791)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (16384)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (5735)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

#20000050
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22696) - you deserved it (1782)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by Lara (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7983) - you deserved it (46421)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (2362)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38270) - you deserved it (8185)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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