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Callilah

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Callilah

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 971
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Callilah : Burning the midnight oil

Callilah's page activity

Visits<b>mixinitup</b> - yesterday at 12:00pm<b>lindsey6747</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:44pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:53pm<b>The_Curvy_Girl</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:43pm<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 3:29pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:31pm<b>braver7315</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:54pm<b>unicorn_rainbows</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:19pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:42am<b>greentooth</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:32pm<b>shibeep</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Thi3fstheme</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:57am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:49am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:53am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:17am

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Callilah's favorite FMLs

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44692) - you deserved it (2940)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73083) - you deserved it (6146)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (111723)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

#20579905
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (7995)

On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51176) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64386) - you deserved it (16364)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (3355)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (5840)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (3206)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47887) - you deserved it (21518)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (5584)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32870) - you deserved it (50770) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46014) - you deserved it (5888)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (44889)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

#20508531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (4560)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Venezuela (Lara)



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