About CallMeBatman : You know: I'm Bruce Wayne, an american billionaire, industrialist, and philanthropist. Having witnessed the murder of my parents as a child, I swore revenge on criminals (wearing a awesome bat-themed outfit, of course). Fell free to message me, send a bat-signal or something!
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CallMeBatman's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:49am / Intimacy
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
by anonymous / 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML
by ohwell / 11/24/2014 at 8:44am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
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