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Calin300

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Calin300

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 October 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 387
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Calin300's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (3718)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (10510)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40562) - you deserved it (3829)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43991) - you deserved it (8438)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48565) - you deserved it (6512)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63916) - you deserved it (8110)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (6056)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40149) - you deserved it (6735)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49112) - you deserved it (3683)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

#21105113
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35839) - you deserved it (5017)

On 04/05/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (35907)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39560) - you deserved it (4042)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (3672)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42558) - you deserved it (24021)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)



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