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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3585
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaliforniaErin : Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

CaliforniaErin's page activity

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CaliforniaErin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39880) - you deserved it (23840)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39224) - you deserved it (3697)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (1934)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (3075)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7265) - you deserved it (40156)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (9458)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (4701)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37935) - you deserved it (3852)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (4595) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (3336)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I found my fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36915) - you deserved it (2413)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

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