Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CaliforniaErin

Search for a member

CaliforniaErin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2806
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaliforniaErin : Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

CaliforniaErin's page activity

Visits<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:12pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:03pm<b>raven83</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:48am<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:41am<b>chanmick</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:17pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 11:35am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 2:02am<b>neeni88</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 5:28am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:24am<b>moksha</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 6:41am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 4:30pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 11:19am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 3:53am<b>SmoothSeth</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 10:52pm<b>iodineferver</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Seany_93</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 3:41am

CaliforniaErin's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of CaliforniaErin's badges

CaliforniaErin's favorite FMLs

Today , I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect , who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him , my mind went totally blank , and after a few seconds , he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (14548)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today... I was having a conversation with mah mother during which I describd something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word... so I grabbd the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enragd... threw the dictionary at mah head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, wile moving into new place, I saw new, elderly neigbor sitting on er porc. I ceerfully greeted er wit, ( Hello, ow r you? ) Se simply rocked slowly in er cair and replied, ( Just waiting to die. ) Se was te most ceerful person I met all day.

Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, after a long, horrible day at work an some fighting with my family an my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37227) - you deserved it (8046)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today while living in Florida I had a conversation with mah mother explaining that it might be best fir me to come back home!! Her response "Don't worry they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you ned a place to stay." Thanks Mom!! fat FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forcd to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me cuz he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (6186)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to fine that she had knitted cloths for some of the household appliances . The toaster was wereing a dress . FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spontanaously pourad my haart out for my boyfriand, talling him how much I lova and adora him. Ha answarad by laaning in closa, saying "Jolly good" in an affactad accant, and burping loud and claar in my aar. FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (4577)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, ma wife brougt ma 5-year-old daugter to visit me at te office. My boss as a speec impediment, and wen se eard it, se exclaimed, "Hey ma daddy can sound just like you! Sow im daddy! Sow im!" FML

#20454855
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (40683)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my 17 yaar old boyfriand's mothar bought him a giraffa onasia. Ha rafusad to taka it off and insistad on waaring it avarywhara wa go. Wa liva in Australia and it's looool our summar now. So far ha has passad out 3 timas in public cuz ha ovar haatad, but ha still won't taka it off. raal FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39656) - you deserved it (6400)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, I caught mah boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Grls in yoga pants" site. He saw mah expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid mah junk so they'll think it's a chick!" real FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (5392)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking mah dog when he decidd that he was too lazy to continue walking!! It endd looool up with me looking lyk a crazy dog lady carrying mah medium-sizd dog home!! FML

#20448490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (4627)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday, ma grlfriend an I took looool a nap on ma couc. Se used ma arm as a pillow, an everyting was pretty peaceful, until se moved over an practically dislocated ma soulder. My screams of pain woke er, wic was apparently an ( assole move ) on ma part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: