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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5066
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaliforniaErin : Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

CaliforniaErin's page activity

Visits<b>kiki1705</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 2:01am<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:12pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:03pm<b>raven83</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 10:48am<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:41am<b>chanmick</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:17pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 11:35am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 2:02am<b>neeni88</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 5:28am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:24am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 4:30pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 11:19am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 3:53am<b>SmoothSeth</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 10:52pm<b>iodineferver</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Seany_93</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 3:41am

CaliforniaErin's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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CaliforniaErin's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

by xtammyle / 02/19/2013 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

by daniel55 / 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

by maggu / 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

by frustrated! / 02/06/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

by rani / 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous