Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CaliforniaErin

Search for a member

CaliforniaErin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1541
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaliforniaErin : Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

CaliforniaErin's page activity

Visits<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:41am<b>chanmick</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:17pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 11:35am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 2:02am<b>neeni88</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 5:28am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:24am<b>moksha</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 6:41am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 4:30pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 11:19am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 3:53am<b>SmoothSeth</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 10:52pm<b>iodineferver</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Seany_93</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 3:41am<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 6:27pm

CaliforniaErin's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of CaliforniaErin's badges

CaliforniaErin's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12120) - you deserved it (30683)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29350) - you deserved it (3982)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (5282)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21998) - you deserved it (18633)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31893) - you deserved it (5452)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (2954)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

#20501686
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (6687)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23137) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23083) - you deserved it (2822)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47319) - you deserved it (5472)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (6684)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (8113)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (8481)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (6591)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (4955)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: