About CaliforniaErin : Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.
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CaliforniaErin's favorite FMLs
Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
by katharine / 03/15/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/23/2010 at 10:20am / United Kingdom / Work
by Chrissy / 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Love
by browniepoints / 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML
by kenzieeeee / 12/29/2009 at 7:30pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML
by UglySister / 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
by BobbyHutchinson / 10/20/2009 at 11:57am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by sunlightchild_14 / 09/13/2009 at 3:04am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
by Amara1717 / 08/19/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
by shway / 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…