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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5122
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About CaliforniaErin : Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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CaliforniaErin's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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CaliforniaErin's favorite FMLs

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

by Karate Kid / 05/25/2012 at 2:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

by Byebye / 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

by Rebecca / 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

by Becca / 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

by stupidbug. / 04/09/2012 at 4:28am / Canada / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 10:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML

by pwib / 03/18/2012 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.