About CaliforniaErin : Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.
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CaliforniaErin's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
by Karate Kid / 05/25/2012 at 2:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
by Byebye / 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML
by Rebecca / 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML
by Becca / 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by stupidbug. / 04/09/2012 at 4:28am / Canada / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 10:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML
by pwib / 03/18/2012 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip…