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CaliLoveFire

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CaliLoveFire

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 704
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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CaliLoveFire's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:29pm<b>mbonzo35</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:04pm<b>TJJOE</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:01pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:47pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:33am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 6:13am<b>okicas</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:49pm<b>obamadrama26</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:50am<b>ranger_13</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:17am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 8:42am<b>wiseman02</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:39am<b>Alexeon</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:34am<b>TrAG3dY</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:07am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:52am<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:49am<b>vegemute</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:25am<b>Syvelli</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:23am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:08am

CaliLoveFire's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of CaliLoveFire's badges

CaliLoveFire's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49440) - you deserved it (6559)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (11753)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (6110)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49182) - you deserved it (5479)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54606) - you deserved it (4311)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47808) - you deserved it (5022)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (15291)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50383) - you deserved it (4429)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (8366)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (4680)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52078) - you deserved it (7817)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31495) - you deserved it (47579)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48092) - you deserved it (9502)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41023) - you deserved it (3806)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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