CaliLoveFire

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Offline (the 06/05/2016 at 5:22am)

CaliLoveFire

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4506
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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CaliLoveFire's page activity

Visits<b>Saso</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:29pm<b>mbonzo35</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:04pm<b>TJJOE</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:01pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:47pm<b>miiapaige</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:33am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 6:13am<b>okicas</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:49pm<b>obamadrama26</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:50am<b>ranger_13</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:17am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 8:42am<b>wiseman02</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:39am<b>Alexeon</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:34am<b>TrAG3dY</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:07am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:52am<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:49am<b>vegemute</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:25am<b>Syvelli</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:23am

CaliLoveFire's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of CaliLoveFire's badges

CaliLoveFire's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love

Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML

by LadyLou / 11/03/2015 at 6:42am / Australia / Work

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

by tkoester / 08/29/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

by Upside-Down Sleeper. / 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

by Pukey / 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm / United States / Kids

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

by SadSister:( / 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

by PyroSam / 12/12/2014 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

by boo / 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2014 at 11:37am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Wakefield) / Work

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

by I_AM_READING / 10/14/2014 at 3:15am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous