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Calen5556

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Calen5556

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  • Number of visits : 664
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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Calen5556's page activity

Visits<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:49pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:16pm

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Calen5556's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (7017)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43556) - you deserved it (11438)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (22197)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, for the first time in years, I broke down in tears, over a Hallmark commercial. FML

#18157234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (6093)

On 11/04/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34412) - you deserved it (4032)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you deserved it (49166)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51726) - you deserved it (4054)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22454) - you deserved it (19542)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (37088)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51716) - you deserved it (4787)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States



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