Calen5556

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Calen5556

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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Calen5556's page activity

Visits<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:02pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:42am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:49pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:16pm

Calen5556's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Calen5556's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

by anonamous / 03/12/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

by TerribleAddiction / 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

by Benjamin / 01/25/2012 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML

by CA19oo / 01/15/2012 at 10:08pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

by bellaskyeb / 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

by kellb123 / 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML

by Embarrassed / 12/12/2011 at 8:45am / Germany (Bayern) / Love

Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

by facepalmface / 12/05/2011 at 9:34am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

by areyouserial / 12/05/2011 at 8:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 11:52am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous