Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Calen5556

Search for a member

Calen5556

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 710
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Calen5556's page activity

Visits<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:49pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:16pm

Calen5556's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Calen5556's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12621) - you deserved it (29663)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

#19376711
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5641) - you deserved it (66231)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

#19265629
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (8158)

On 03/12/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by anonamous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

#19085409
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (2884)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm - health - by TerribleAddiction - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (5102)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

#18943419
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19674) - you deserved it (11166)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31107) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37426) - you deserved it (4522)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML

#18818904
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8127) - you deserved it (37700)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by CA19oo - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (3794)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

#18538451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (2158)

On 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm - work - by kellb123 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML

#18493088
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28767) - you deserved it (5644)

On 12/12/2011 at 8:45am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, at university I was tearing off some "Help Japan" posters off the wall, figuring that they have been up for a while. Just as a group of visiting Japanese reporters passed by. FML

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

#18355886
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (27632)

On 11/26/2011 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: