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Calaraphea

Offline (the 03/15/2014 at 10:43pm) | Search for a member

Calaraphea

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 955
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Calaraphea : Nobody likes me, neither will you. c:

Calaraphea's page activity

Visits<b>Firewielder</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Patty410</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 9:29pm<b>solonglonesome</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:37pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 2:43pm<b>winston_salem</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:25pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:32pm<b>dtcwithed</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:38am<b>chinoj961</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:19pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:15pm<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:44pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 2:07pm<b>TryMeBro</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:30pm<b>_streets_</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Zombra</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:16am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 3:35pm<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 3:37am

Calaraphea's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Calaraphea's badges

Calaraphea's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (7086)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (2137)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (5640)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

#17541150
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7069) - you deserved it (61109)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

#17388987
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (2183)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Pinkie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

#17294621
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31000) - you deserved it (5906)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:56am - love - by Tallulah (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35214) - you deserved it (4482)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45725) - you deserved it (15785)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my husband was kind enough to hold my hair back while I was going down on him, but didn't have the thought to comfort me this morning while I suffered the effects of morning sickness. FML

#14440523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28600) - you deserved it (4928)

On 01/02/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27083) - you deserved it (5451)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

#14114390
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (2169)

On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22503) - you deserved it (10463)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13097397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17434) - you deserved it (24965)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

#11324047
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (27085)

On 06/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by PissyPants (woman) - United States (California)



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