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CalCommando

Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 7:20pm) | Search for a member

CalCommando

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 869
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About CalCommando : Gonna update this when I'm on a computer, not the app.

For now... cake farts.

CalCommando's page activity

Visits<b>Bvbfangirl</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 8:04am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 5:28pm<b>BatmansButler</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 10:49am<b>kidtoronto</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 7:48pm<b>Whydoyouask</b> - the 11/20/2011 at 2:36am

CalCommando's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of CalCommando's badges

CalCommando's favorite FMLs

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42171) - you deserved it (8544)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (71389)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11850) - you deserved it (71040)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52573) - you deserved it (13835)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

#3949576
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46281) - you deserved it (15533)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83897) - you deserved it (20409)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

#2397124
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13358) - you deserved it (47812)

On 05/29/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by ilikecake (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

#16441
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45710) - you deserved it (8049)

On 02/09/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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