no, fuck YOUR life.
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you totally deserved it (9141)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you totally deserved it (1936)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4809) - you totally deserved it (22871)
On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11980) - you totally deserved it (2110)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32032) - you totally deserved it (3685)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I accidentally left the tag on the new pants that I wore to work. Nobody had brought it to my attention for the whole day until finally, before I was about to go home, every single employee and my boss let me know by yelling in unison and laughing as I left the building. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18777) - you totally deserved it (4596)
On 09/12/2009 at 10:35pm - work - by Tagged (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14465) - you totally deserved it (3207)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you totally deserved it (3679)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4174) - you totally deserved it (38216)
Today, I dropped my keys. Not wanting to lean over and pick them up, I pointed at them and said "Accio." Then I realized I had tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21217) - you totally deserved it (93350)
On 03/05/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by redhead (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (287321) - you totally deserved it (42416)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)
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