CVeNgineer

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CVeNgineer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 947
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CVeNgineer's page activity

Visits<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 3:26am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 7:40am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:57am<b>Anaz676</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 8:21am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:44pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:37am<b>bojjee</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:50am<b>thisislife234</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:13pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:32am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:55pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 11:51am<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:24am<b>Seasicks</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 11:47pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 8:27am<b>JhovannyA</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 1:52am<b>butthole321</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Zazoo1995</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:38pm

CVeNgineer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CVeNgineer's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

by soontobedumped / 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

by mortifiedgrandchild / 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

by MY CAR / 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

by candice / 11/01/2011 at 5:09am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

by blabla / 10/28/2011 at 9:30am / Brazil / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 8:25am / United States / Kids

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

by pupitre / 10/17/2011 at 8:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, the student council gave us our senior class t-shirts. Our theme this year is "Striving for Excellence." Excellence was misspelled. FML

by brit / 10/13/2011 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

by anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 10:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous