About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...
CTMPandemonium's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML
by nakedweddingday / 07/03/2013 at 10:40pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML
by yeshehaspornaddiction / 07/02/2013 at 12:37am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals
by Gracie-Ann / 07/01/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
by whipplewhip / 06/30/2013 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML
by Auroraen / 06/27/2013 at 9:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by smh / 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm / Finland (Western Finland) / Health
by Guntherdog / 06/27/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
by confusedbagel / 06/27/2013 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Work
Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML
by LyraAlluse / 06/26/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…