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Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 12:56pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7692
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...

CTMPandemonium's page activity

Visits<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 2:46pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:30am<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:38pm<b>vampivy23</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:08am<b>max367</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:00pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:26am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:53am<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:54am<b>IWeigh2Tons</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:58pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:35pm<b>tor415</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 6:08pm<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:31pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:56pm<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:43pm<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:19pm

Fucked!<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:46pm

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CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50193) - you deserved it (8186)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML


I agree, your life sucks (58852) - you deserved it (4939)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56006) - you deserved it (9501)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48222) - you deserved it (7967)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (14507)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66007) - you deserved it (23489)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49047) - you deserved it (3663)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML


I agree, your life sucks (48999) - you deserved it (9424)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60863) - you deserved it (8501)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46954) - you deserved it (34435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64035) - you deserved it (22649)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

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