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CTMPandemonium

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CTMPandemonium

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1337
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...

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CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

#1259883
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35278) - you deserved it (26660)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51015) - you deserved it (23906)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

#1154114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67017) - you deserved it (21265)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12430) - you deserved it (69160)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
677 comments

I agree, your life sucks (686035) - you deserved it (55338)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML

#891660
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10171) - you deserved it (60958)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML

#891660
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10171) - you deserved it (60958)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

#866665
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (71700)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (251173)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64337) - you deserved it (17665)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML

#813420
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71600) - you deserved it (4075)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Geewizz (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was doing the morning count for the registers, a lady walked by and saw me. She's got Alzheimer's, and thought I was robbing the guy I'd bought the store from, so she called the cops. I spent six hours in jail while they looked into it, and didn't even get an apology. FML

#674339
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69043) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by murphslaw (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

#584648
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (24038)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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