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CTMPandemonium

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 12:56pm) | Search for a member

CTMPandemonium

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7096
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...

CTMPandemonium's page activity

Visits<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:38pm<b>vampivy23</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:08am<b>max367</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:00pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:26am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:53am<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:54am<b>IWeigh2Tons</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:58pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:35pm<b>tor415</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 6:08pm<b>CrumpledQuill</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:31pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:56pm<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:43pm<b>Mkm1997</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:19pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:28am<b>imsoeffingbored</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 1:43am

CTMPandemonium's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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Perfectionist

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See all of CTMPandemonium's badges

CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43971) - you deserved it (19349)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55783) - you deserved it (6252)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55256) - you deserved it (3350)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57787) - you deserved it (4868)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (3072)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

#20839746
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51994) - you deserved it (3022)

On 08/16/2013 at 1:02am - kids - by justwantingtohelp - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56828) - you deserved it (3576)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50635) - you deserved it (6167)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62396) - you deserved it (3405)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62703) - you deserved it (5772)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44161) - you deserved it (13965)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71019) - you deserved it (6128)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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