Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CTMPandemonium

Search for a member

CTMPandemonium

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1275
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...

CTMPandemonium's page activity

Visits<b>noideaforname</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:59am<b>Klairem11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:55pm<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:05pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:11pm<b>domking1315</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 2:33pm<b>mjlocat</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:10pm<b>123bmxme</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:45am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:19am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:10am<b>Xivion</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:22am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:55am<b>MaiMai137</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:45am<b>gracehi</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:40am<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:02am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:49am<b>Roskie</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:41am<b>curticus</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:29am

CTMPandemonium's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of CTMPandemonium's badges

CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager informed me that I will not be completing my job training because I'll be transferring to a different store, and if they want me to work there, that's their problem. Today, I also found out that the new store will not accept me as a transfer unless I've already been trained. FML

#13753819
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (1969)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:34pm - work - by Problem - United States (California)

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

#13593951
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (1843)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (3281)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (5271)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (2011)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (2952)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33754) - you deserved it (9150)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

#12810587
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117142) - you deserved it (11259)

On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (14289)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15371) - you deserved it (45041)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, my 18 year old daughter comes home telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had ICarly happy meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

#8838699
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24373) - you deserved it (4661)

On 03/05/2010 at 1:10am - kids - by icarlymom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

#8223058
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (9176)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm - love - by AnnaNick (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

#7782568
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (9012)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by kaitlynn - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

#7531653
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (8100)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm - love - by lmiller (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: