Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CTMPandemonium

Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 3:27am) | Search for a member

CTMPandemonium

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1544
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...

CTMPandemonium's page activity

Visits<b>headphones23</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:11pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:13pm<b>noideaforname</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:59am<b>Klairem11</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:55pm<b>RollingCakes</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:05pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:11pm<b>domking1315</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 2:33pm<b>mjlocat</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:10pm<b>123bmxme</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:45am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:19am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:10am<b>Xivion</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:22am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:55am<b>MaiMai137</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:45am<b>gracehi</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:40am<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:02am<b>Roskie</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:41am

CTMPandemonium's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of CTMPandemonium's badges

CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

#19144925
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you deserved it (39313)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (4923)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5984) - you deserved it (35403)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

#18815137
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (4564)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML

#18721209
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (5746)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm - animals - by britanyann (woman) - United States

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (3407)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (41189)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29500) - you deserved it (6780)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

#18210187
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47367) - you deserved it (3451)

On 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Nicoli - United States (Washington)

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

#18044835
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14914) - you deserved it (58090)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (2191)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (2191)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

#17826284
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (3123)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: