About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...
CTMPandemonium's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs
by latter / 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML
by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 9:29am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML
by CityBoysNow / 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML
by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML
by verbaltodomestic / 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by jesus christ, dad / 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML
by depressed / 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no / 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…