CTMPandemonium

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/10/2016 at 2:11pm)

CTMPandemonium

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8206
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CTMPandemonium : I'm not saying I'm Batman.... I'm just saying nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room...

CTMPandemonium's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:12pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 6:32am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 8:02pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 12:37pm<b>tisvana18</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 11:04am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:21am<b>logan12382</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:07am<b>inthehidden</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:12pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 2:46pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:30am<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:38pm<b>vampivy23</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:08am<b>max367</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:15am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:47am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:00am<b>Jason89</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:00pm<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:26am<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:53am

Fucked!<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:46pm

CTMPandemonium's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of CTMPandemonium's badges

CTMPandemonium's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

by deservedly / 06/09/2014 at 12:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

by eightleggedtictac / 06/08/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

by Fire sucks. / 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

by Cat Ashes / 12/05/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

by houdinette / 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm / Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan) / Kids

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids