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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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CTL

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CTL
  • Town/Country : Hong Kong/Edinburgh, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 June 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 72989
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CTL : I was born on midsummer's day, which I think is quite fitting.

Once, I was pulled aside and told that I laughed too much and that it wasn't healthy.

If I could do anything and be anyone, I would study hard and become a pastry chef.

http://www.myspace.com/kahumphrey
http://www.twitter.com/kahumphrey

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CTL's favorite FMLs

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!". I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (73272)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

#263431 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (45390) - you deserved it (8664)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by fannylovesfelix (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362983) - you deserved it (401322)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

#218280 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (54640) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by failout (man) - United States (California)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (29383) - you deserved it (9541)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

#127425 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (82820) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/24/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Rich (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my angry ex girlfriend put Nair in my shampoo before moving out of my dorm. I'm now balding at 19. FML

#103083 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (43471) - you deserved it (6323)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (45110)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (538108) - you deserved it (47587)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (4859)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (179218) - you deserved it (31650)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

#10627 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (51640) - you deserved it (1812)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)