About CRrawsum : Screenwriter/ makeup artist in training.
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CRrawsum's favorite FMLs
by Michelle / 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML
by meaganlea / 02/23/2010 at 12:17am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
by DuChaillu / 01/27/2010 at 2:35am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by mcdman / 01/19/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML
by badsister / 01/10/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by DOGSNACHER / 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
by Cornbreesha / 11/28/2009 at 2:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML
by Slivered / 11/18/2009 at 4:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
by WasteOfTime / 11/01/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Transportation
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by swedishguy / 10/05/2009 at 1:22pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time.… Today, I walked in on my brother completely naked from the waist down. I wouldn't have cared if he…