About CRrawsum : Screenwriter/ makeup artist in training.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50653) - you deserved it (2131)
On 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33356) - you deserved it (5742)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:23am - intimacy - by Glassjaw (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (2671)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (35208)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (7063)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (5259)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14014) - you deserved it (44149)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (8042)
On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (63418)
On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41517) - you deserved it (9492)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Fattie (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58595) - you deserved it (156959)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119367) - you deserved it (5924)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4667) - you deserved it (51207)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (1877)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177952) - you deserved it (25398)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
