About CRrawsum : Screenwriter/ makeup artist in training.
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CRrawsum's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML
by nonexistant / 10/02/2009 at 3:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by mushroommouth / 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Money
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
by Missy / 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
by DrGas / 09/04/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by deven / 08/29/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML
by Becky / 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
by Dude / 08/19/2009 at 6:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Mark / 08/13/2009 at 6:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by JPF / 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML
by anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 5:01pm / United States (Montana) / Love
- Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it… Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts… Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, it was my last day working at my company. The whole staff was summoned to a meeting, but I… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…