Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CRUX

Search for a member

CRUX
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 4849
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

CRUX's last visitors

Deon_KGentelman999Freeze

CRUX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CRUX's favorite FMLs

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33200) - you deserved it (2147)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

#4043992
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55143) - you deserved it (5058)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:28am - love - by nosrepamai82 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

#3988589
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45212) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

#3799208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (50941)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

#3706736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20412) - you deserved it (40097)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57477) - you deserved it (30025)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

#3395753
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48247) - you deserved it (4440)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (105460)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

#2935606
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45113) - you deserved it (3396)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77547) - you deserved it (5313)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61439) - you deserved it (3895)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (8170)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70145) - you deserved it (17111)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: