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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (2781)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52602) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39138) - you deserved it (10529)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9294) - you deserved it (38905)
On 08/09/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by twitch01 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78431) - you deserved it (18442)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5942) - you deserved it (60031)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (6311)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59480) - you deserved it (2972)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40266) - you deserved it (3279)
On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44396) - you deserved it (1578)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (12166)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49253) - you deserved it (1685)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53215) - you deserved it (2114)
On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58356) - you deserved it (3286)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore
Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (2121)
On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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