Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CRUX

Search for a member

CRUX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 August 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5640
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

CRUX's page activity

Visits<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:53pm<b>ford99</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Deon_K</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:06pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 4:58pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:16am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:27pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 5:10pm<b>ImSexy</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 5:04pm<b>wdaareg</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 10:25pm<b>MCart</b> - the 03/10/2009 at 6:03pm

CRUX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CRUX's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49968) - you deserved it (4007)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64597) - you deserved it (7651)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48563) - you deserved it (12865)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML

#4402387
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13819) - you deserved it (52812)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by twitch01 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9281) - you deserved it (83985)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52680) - you deserved it (7479)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73347) - you deserved it (4382)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

#4244213
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50992) - you deserved it (4618)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55858) - you deserved it (2528)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71854) - you deserved it (16459)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#4196733
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60967) - you deserved it (2669)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66338) - you deserved it (3192)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

#4073449
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70638) - you deserved it (4690)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42205) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: