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CODnoob1972's FML badges
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CODnoob1972's favorite FMLs
Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML
by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy
by moopymoplady / 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by 14YearOld / 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
by sourcandy013 / 11/20/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy
by honeybadger123 / 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work
by exiledliscense / 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was texting my girlfriend. I went to reply to her message and somehow accidentally deleted… Today, after getting out a low security psychiatric unit two weeks ago and returning to work after… Today, I came back from a 2 week vacation to find out my dad and stepmother divorced. She took the…