Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CMC_LOVES_MGM

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 5:22pm) | Search for a member

CMC_LOVES_MGM

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2074
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CMC_LOVES_MGM : I love FML , my life, my hubby, my family and College. :) I do not care for bullies.
I only comment on some FMLs if I feel like I have something to contribute. I try to be polite and positive when I do comment, unless you don't deserve my sympathies.

CMC_LOVES_MGM's page activity

Visits<b>CollinCrafts</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 7:57am<b>bingo__O</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:38pm<b>illuminera</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:17am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:59am<b>Aayvie</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:54am<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 6:05pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:48pm<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:32pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 7:04am<b>iKaegan</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:06am<b>windell</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 4:26pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Bentonic</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 10:44pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 10:41pm<b>marisol180</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:11am<b>alshygirl</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 1:46pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 11:05pm

CMC_LOVES_MGM's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of CMC_LOVES_MGM's badges

CMC_LOVES_MGM's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (5359)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18375) - you deserved it (6867)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

#20162223
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7458) - you deserved it (29376)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (2091)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (2823)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26899) - you deserved it (2208)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6423) - you deserved it (24198)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18840) - you deserved it (9954)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33069) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10224) - you deserved it (40590)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (3140)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (3881)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (2637)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (6922)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: